Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
from now on my penis is your penis
i was born a porn star she said
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
