1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
