I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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