I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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