If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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