I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just found puke in my bra..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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