My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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