what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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