I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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