shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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