Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You made out with two different species that night
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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