But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
