Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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