I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am available for nakedness
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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