Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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