At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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