I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
