why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
