Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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