i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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