And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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