it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
