You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
