just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
