my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The adults are the big ones right?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
