he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
ttyl tear gas
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
