Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
