What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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