I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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