I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
handjob tips. give me some.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize