New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
