I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
