Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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