ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
