Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
