Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I need water and some morals
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