do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize