I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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