I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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