I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
