I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
