How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
