i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
