I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
