I looked at my own cervix.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
