god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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