i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
