Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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