Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
