lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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