you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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