She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
