he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
