Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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