I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you had me at cake vodka
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
