I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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