He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
