Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
