What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
