he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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