Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
