i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she peed on how many people?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize