pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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